Some would say this is a perfectly harmless bird. Don't listen to those people. This is a terrible, evil creature who will stop at nothing to ensure the destruction of you and all that you love. We don't care what you do with it once it arrives at your door (Next day shipping available!) but please, just get this thing away from us.

Features:

• D. novaehollandiae
• Can live up to 20 years, and probably will unless you kill it first
• Can weight 130+ lbs., mostly after feasting on the flesh of its enemies
• Probably has mafia connections
• Known to eat ants, so you could bring in on a picnic with you. However, it will probably just spend all its time eating you instead.
• Often hunted by dingos. You should probably own a dingo. Or ten.
• Evil
• NOTE: This product does not fall under our standard return policy. ^{Please don't give it back.}